that is the question. let me briefly share my personal and constant struggle with this. here’s how it goes:
7:30am- i wake up and excitedly look at my schedule: three personal training clients and then nothing until 5pm? wonderful! that will give me hours and hours to write music, the thing i love to do most.
11am- i am back home post training and i look ahead at an empty day. and what starts to happen? anxiety creeps in…so many hours and how will i fill them? and what if i’m not productive? and…and…and i better take care of all my emails. yes that’s something i must do and something i can check off my list!
12:30pm- alright, now and i’ve showered and emailed like crazy and i should start writing…but first i should clean, yes that’s it. another check off-able task! and it does need to be done. so, i put in some laundry and wash the dishes and even do a cursory bathroom wipedown.
1:15pm: alright…what else can i do before i start writing…because to write music is not a ‘task’. it doesn’t have a clear end. it can’t be crossed out with certainty on a to-do list. and what if…what if…(the scariest thought)…what if i don’t feel inspired. i know! i’ll do my voice exercises. relevant to music, to my career, and still ‘check off-able’.
1:45pm: hmmm okay, time to write. wait no! i need to prepare for my theatre classes tomorrow! phew, another task to make me feel like i am moving ahead, doing something productive.
2:30pm: alright. it’s time. i nervously go into my studio. why am i nervous? because what if i don’t enjoy writing (though that rarely happens, it’s a constant fear)? or what if i don’t write anything worthwhile (once i’m writing, i don’t care if it’s worthwhile or not, still it’s a constant fear)? what if i spend the rest of my life writing music and never become a success (um…miranda, that’s just crazy talk)?
and so, i sit down to write. and then…
4:55pm: shoot! i have a client in five minutes and i really want to finish writing this chorus, or playing through this song, or editing these new lyrics.
and then…every time. every. single. time. i say,
‘why did i put this off all day??? this is what i love to do most!’
well, can’t say i gave you many answers to the question, but hopefully- if you relate- you find some solace in a shared experience.
And now that I am re-engaged with this website, I will re-engage with my blog. I will keep it shorter and less frequent than a year ago when I was doing my ‘The Artist’s Way Challenge’ and blogging almost daily, but I still hope to regularly share exciting cultural happenings, creative musings, and anything else I think might be of interest to you!
Today, I would like to introduce you to a theatre company that I discovered just a few weeks ago when I attended their visiting production of ‘The Wild Bride’ at Berkeley Rep. The company is called Kneehigh Theatre and if ‘The Wild Bride’ is a good example of their work, then they are my new favorite group of creators. The show- much like my show, ‘The Precipice’- is a dark fairytale, told through music, dance and spoken word. This description was what initially drew me towards the production. How similar to the description of my show; how would they pull it off? The answer is, brilliantly.
First of all, the collaborative nature of ‘The Wild Bride’s creation was so clearly evident in the final production. Every element of the piece- the lighting, the music, the movement, the sets- was engaged in a symbiotic relationship that made ‘The Wild Bride’ the type of performance I rarely find, but always wish from the theatre. Further investigation into Kneehigh’s approach to process has confirmed that collaboration is the most integral element to their creation. Oh! How I long to be part of such a company! Their workspace is called ‘The Asylum’: a giant circus tent out in the English countryside where the cast and crew spend months building upon the skeleton of a script, a story, an idea. It is, they say, ‘a place predisposed to magic’. And magic is what they create.
‘The Wild Bride’ engaged all of my senses and utilized my imagination as only the theatre can! Of course, my rational mind knew that the deer- beautifully constructed from twigs and branches- was in fact lifeless, the manner in which the puppeteer fused her heart into the animal and danced it about the stage, drew from me- and from the rest of the audience- a horrified cry as the killer plunged a knife into it’s empty eye sockets and magically pulled forth red ribbons of blood. Now, our imaginations long to be engaged such and it doesn’t necessarily take such artistry to give an inanimate object life. But Kneehigh did it time and time again with such beauty and magic, that the audience gave their imaginations over to the world of ‘The Wild Bride’ with desperate enthusiasm.
There is so much more I could say about ‘The Wild Bride’; about how the destruction of the fourth wall opened the doors for fantastical truth; how the costumes and sets, so sparse and subtle, perfectly constructed the environment of the fairytale world; how three women sharing one role- shifting from the spotlight to the equally relevant role of costume master and chorus- seemed to remove ego and allow for free performances, uninhibited by the strict and stagnant ‘this is my character!’ attitude one so often sees onstage. But for now, let me stop and simply say that Kneehigh reawoke in me my forgotten dream to be a part of a collaborative theatre company and inspired me to continue building ‘The Precipice’ into a show that blends art forms, defies definition, and exists in a world of earthly magic and fantastical dreams.
i had quite the blessed two days. saw anais mitchell perform in her folk opera ‘hadestown’ at the great american music hall…she was in my sister’s grade and it’s so inspiring to see someone from our small little vermont county doing such creative, sexy, smart, BEAUTIFUL work. so inspiring. and it’s so the type of music i want to do be doing…
“there’s other guys that really front well. Theres rocking bands out there. But the writing and the imagining of a world, that’s a particular thing, you know, that’s a single fingerprint. All the filmmakers we love, all the writers we love, all the songwriters we love, they have they put their fingerprint on your imagination and then on – in your heart and on your soul. That was something that I’d felt, you know, felt touched by. And I said well, I want to do that.”
yes, i want to do that too. bruce, anais, regina, dylan, fiona, erykah…how do they do it? they tell a story, honestly, vivdly, SPECIFICALLY and then they sing it with heart.
the stories of my songs- the good ones anyway- put THEIR fingerprints on my imagination…they were dropped into my mind during the pure creative moment [when ego, distractions, the rubbish of petty anxieties, they're all washed away...and your soul bleeds freely into the air, then out through the windows, and stretches around the earth joining in the soft buzzing haze of universal humanity.]
and so i trust in these stories. and now i am the vessel. and as the vessel i only have to tell these stories. that’s all i need to do.
i am getting prepared to record my album beginning december 17th up in san rafeal the album is the first to be recorded in bob weir’s new studio, TRI with bob serving as my producer, and three of the most incredible musicians i have ever met, from his band ‘ratdog’. the incredible honor and opportunity to record MY SONGS with THESE men, it’s so unreal and yet i feel calm. you know i was waiting for two years to record this album, but if we had recorded it even six months ago, i would not have been ready. it’s funny how life works like that. things happen when they happen and usually it’s the right time. maybe that’s naive and simplistic, but i like to believe it. ANYWAY. now i am prepared.
i have selected from the material that i’ve written over the past two years and have a concept album, tentitavely titled ‘lady ghosts’- tales of broken yet strong women, heavy- but still they fly, bonded to one another, to false realities, to a constructed identity of womanhood, or, at best, to something heavenly, mystic, rooted in the nightsky.
the album is a co-production between bob weir’s production company, tamalpais music productions and mine- dorothy&ruth. free download antivirus nod32
for one day of recording during the week of december 17th, i will be bringing in a few lady artists to creatively respond to the piece (ideally- a violinist, dancer, and two harmonizing friends and a painter) there will be a film crew capturing the recording process and performance and all sorts of beautiful possibilities exist. i am ecstatic to get to bring in these gorgeous female talents. ecstatic.
OH and i’ve been doing some artwork. the first is a doodle…can you find the naked woman and the alien and the upside down waving bird? the second is a collage for my two songs ‘swimming in sin’ and ‘ballad of salem’…album artwork perhaps?
Silly little boy
Silly little boy
Our love’s just a toy
You’ve cast aside
You’ve broken my heart
and quite bruised my pride
But I’ll stop this crying now
Yes I’ll be just fine, somehow
Silly me, I thought that we would grow old together
Silly me, thought we’d weather whatever, forever we’d stay together
But how I was wrong, you’re untethered now
Go ahead, move along
To the next pretty face
So easily displaced by/
Don’t worry about me
Go on ahead and be free
You little boy
Silly little boy
Silly little boy
Our love’s just a toy
You’ve cast aside
You’ve broken my heart
and quite bruised my pride
But I’ll stop this crying now
Yes I’ll be just fine, somehow
And i have been just relaxing and being happy in this profoundly un-guilt ridden way. last night we hosted an impromptu dance party with a whole fantastic assortment of folk.
i went to bed at two am…after some serious late night coconut bliss action, and then i woke up this sunday morning and laid in bed with my boyfriend and read 40 pages of jhumba lahiri’s ‘the namesake’. i don’t remember the last time i left myself really enjoy and relax into my free time.
hello cyberworld, it has been a while. for some reason i just couldn’t sit down to blog over the past two weeks. i also couldn’t keep track of my finances and income either. i stopped posting on craigslist (for any number of sales, services, or stuff). i didn’t go to a single voice lesson and i stopped with diligent daily piano and vocal practice. i even slipped on my morning pages a good 7 days out of the two weeks. what did i do?
i went to an ‘intuitive counselor’ who made me feel passionate and empowered about my future as a person, artist, pearl in the sea of time. i discovered that there is a connection in my mind with these things:
warriors
pioneers
damsels in distress
lady ghosts
fear
ambition
spinning and sun
water, you sensual solace
night, you mystical darkness
unkindness?
THE RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY:
first of all, i realized that i hadn’t been to dc since the 8th grade field trip. what i remembered of dc before this last trip:
laughing on the bus with elyse like you can only laugh at 14.
laughing up the steps of the lincoln monument, though i don’t know why…i miss those teenage hysterics
going to victoria’s secret at the big dc mall…feeling romantic and cinematic and even sexy surrounded by the red velvet couches and sweet vanilla lotions and lacy underwear.
the holocaust museum and the the pile of shoes…very powerful at that age.
what i remember from this weekend:
banding together with a rag tag group of rally goers to catch a taxi all the way from the baltimore airport…there was the middle aged couple from new jersey, the young IT guy from north carolina, the early thirties, and the tons of fun laywer from illinois who stuck with us all day. it really was a feeling of unity and positivity
the magestic architecture down by the mall…i felt proud to be american to be part of this rich and progressive history.
the fun of seeing harbor beach friends in a totally different context! we brunched (ie drank wine) on the porch until 5pm…it was just like hb. oh and we did a photo shoot of ‘the ashley’ and ‘the lacey’:
the modern wonder of a museum: the NEWSEUM
favorite exhibits: the pulitzer prize photograph exhibit and the giant world map of ‘free press’. also, the video stations where you cab watch coverage of historic events in history. especially exciting to watch clips of the ‘march on washington’ after experiencing ‘the rally to restore sanity’. while it was much less passionate…and necessary, the rally shared with the march a sense of unification and hope.
how much more i like flying on a plane with ben…and ambien.
ethiopian meat and veggies that you eat in little spongey crepes
LADY GHOSTS:
i had a show on nov 6th and it was the show i’ve wanted to do for the past year. i hung my slips along the balcony and changed between songs behind a screen. i wore masks and long necklaces and i sang my favorite original material from my 2011 album, ‘lady ghosts’. i used my new neumann mic and i felt free and strong in my voice. i sang with a violin, finally. i played ‘iris on the precipice’ and ‘carry the ocean’ for ben. i felt inspired for this album…
ARTIST’S WAY CHALLENGE:
the challenge is officially over. it was an interesting exercise in diligence and structure and creativity.
i experienced an evolving relationship with the strict daily requirements and tasks i set out for myself. at first i was excited by the project and carved out time daily and abided by all rules and goals with focused ambition. i felt inspired, and positive, and fearless, and my daily life was rich and purposed….for two weeks.
then i started to feel constrained by the specificity…my innate rebel-of-rules acted up. i felt bitter towards the structure i myself had created. in short, i got so swept up by the ‘homework’ aspect of the challenge, that i lost sight of larger goals for a week or two. i still did most of the tasks, but they felt more forced and i felt guilt when i slipped on something.
i then realized that a large part of my rebellion was targeted at the ‘daily blog’. see, when noticing the world around you, starting a new song, falling in love with a new singer, or hearing live music are all actions that must be accompanied by a public comment, than some of the magic of the experience is diminished. some things you want to keep for yourself and some things you want to do without feeling like you are being a good girl doing your homework. На странице предприятия секс знакомства с интим фото до 1210 – заходите
for the last few weeks of my challenge i allowed myself guiltless breaks from the rules and i decided i would blog every few days and would update only what i felt i truly was moved to share. i found that i still remained %75 ‘on task’ and i was still inspired by the tasks because…well frankly, i stopped viewing them primarily as tasks.
i’m excited for this next month without any shows or recordings on the horizon. i am excited to continue carving out daily time for my songwriting and technical practice and listening and creativity in an organic and consistent fashion.
i’m tightening some screws on my rocket: discovering how i work most effectively, create with constant inspiration, perform with passion and freedom, while remaining controlled and centered, and how to blog with ease and confidence. i’ll be ready when it’s time to take off…
post ‘le salon’ i took a break from blogging and went away with my partner and four friends to the woods. you could smell the pine out there and i was more relaxed than i have been in a long time. since i got back, i find i have not been moved to blog! so finally, here are a compilation of some creations, thoughts, and findings from the past week:
LE SALON: it really was a night of art and music as i had hoped. here are some pictures from the event:
me, singing
nicole and her art, her art now hanging above my piano
the art table
WRITE: i wrote this poem for partner and set it to music in two hours. it is one of the quickest song creations I’ve experienced in a while; it’s always pleasing to start a song and finish it all in one day.
WRITE: out in brookdale, i found this picture hanging on the wall. the striking thing is how each person looks off in an opposite direction. and you know that they had to sit still like that for a long time waiting for the slow technology of the time to capture them. it inspired some poetic ramblings that will eventually form a song of some kind, i do believe:
they held themselves so still in his great plastic eye
look here, the man said, little boy, look here.
and caroline, eyebrows thick, cheebones high, yes caroline, you look out to the sky
tom with your hands crossed over your hat. pull yourself inward and lay your eyes flat.
nora smile sweetly still a chid round the eyes and hold onto grandmam, so stern, strong, and wise.
and lizzie watch the dog as he spins around the redwood tree.
and cynthia, darling, you look at me.
with a slippery fire in your eyes.
and walter, poor walter, whose soul has run so far from those blue seas where she used to swim for hours.
WORD EXPLORATION:
The Amazons were a legendary nation of female warriors in Greek mythology.
Amazon is an eponym, derived from the legend, for any woman warrior or athlete, including:
* Amazon, nom de guerre of a Roman gladiatrix at Halicarnassus
* Dahomey Amazons, an all-female regiment of the Kingdom of Dahomey
* Amazon feminism, a branch of feminism that emphasizes female physical prowess
* Los Angeles Amazons, a women’s semi-professional American football team
AT A SHOW: sufjan stevens at paramount theatre with playful and musical friends, linda, molly, and robbie. got to eat burgers and make up songs with his back up singers and musicians after the show.
i am inspired by his multimedia, orchestral spectacular. i wished that the paramount theatre was not such a strict seated venue, because it had a lulling, even soporific effect on some of us. and indeed, his music is at times lullabying, but much of last nights show was a new sufjan stevens with autotune and techno and fantastically futuristic costumes. cat, linda’s friend and one of sufjan’s backup singers, said that he writes almost every part that is played by the two drummers, three guitarists, two horn players, two backup singers, two pianists, and bassist. he is musical genius.
his banter was the self endearing hipster musician persona that, when coupled with his amazing talent, is absolutely endearing.
check out this video…a song he wrote about john wayne gracy.
LISTEN/WATCH: after our first totally successful ‘tin can bangers’ rehearsal i had a sleep over with linda and we watched ‘the runaways’. i admit that i didn’t really know of the ‘runaways’ before the film. i knew of joan jett, of course, i’ve sung ‘i love rock and roll’ with every cover band i’ve ever been in. but the story of the runaways was a delightful surprise and totally fascinating. dakota fanning and kristen stewart give mature and layered performances as cherrie currie and joan jett; perhaps because they actually had the original cherrie and joan on set with them during the shooting.
cherrie was only 17 when she shot this video, already an addict and a sexual force onstage:
AT A SHOW: went to deluxe and sat in with ‘nature boy’. nat king cole sings it with a smile full of secrets:
ON THE RADIO: another npr binge. one of my favorite pieces was this interview with the director and writer of ‘toy story 3’:
* the ‘rally to restore sanity’ in dc this weekend! i haven’t been to dc since my 8th grade trip and a few hours on our road trip out ot california. now i’ll be going with thousands of other like minded, sane, jon stewart fans!
* my gig on november 6th where i will perform songs from my album ‘lady ghosts’…all my dark, beautiful, dramatic stories of women. there will be costume changes.
10.28.10
post ‘le salon’ i took a break from blogging and went away with my partner and four friends to the woods. you could smell the pine out there and i was more relaxed than i have been in a long time. since i got back, i find i have not been moved to blog! so finally, here are a compilation of some creations, thoughts, and findings from the past week:
LE SALON: it really was a night of art and music as i had hoped. here are some pictures from the event: INSERT A FEW PICS WITH CAPTIONS (me singing, the art table, selecting the winning art from the evening, nicole’s creations now hangs above my piano)
WRITE: INSERT POEM. i wrote this poem for partner and set it to music in two hours. it is one of the quickest song creations I’ve experienced in a while; it’s always pleasing to start a song and finish it all in one day.
WRITE: out in brookdale, i found this picture hanging on the wall. INSERT PICTURE. the striking thing is how each person looks off in an opposite direction. and you know that they had to sit still like that for a long time waiting for the slow technology of the time to capture them. it inspired some poetic ramblings that will eventually form a song of some kind, i do believe:
they held themselves so still in his great plastic eye
look here, the man said, little boy, look here.
and caroline, eyebrows thick, cheebones high, yes caroline, you look out to the sky
tom with your hands crossed over your hat. pull yourself inward and lay your eyes flat.
nora smile sweetly still a chid round the eyes and hold onto grandmam, so stern, strong, and wise.
and lizzie watch the dog as he spins around the redwood tree.
and cynthia, darling, you look at me.
with a slippery fire in your eyes.
and walter, poor walter, whose soul has run so far from those blue seas where she used to swim for hours.
WORD EXPLORATION:
The Amazons were a legendary nation of female warriors in Greek mythology.
Amazon is an eponym, derived from the legend, for any woman warrior or athlete, including:
Amazon, nom de guerre of a Roman gladiatrix at Halicarnassus
Dahomey Amazons, an all-female regiment of the Kingdom of Dahomey
Amazon feminism, a branch of feminism that emphasizes female physical prowess
AT A SHOW: sufjan stevens at paramount theatre with playful and musical friends, linda, molly, and robbie. got to eat burgers and make up songs with his back up singers and musicians after the show.
i am inspired by his multimedia, orchestral spectacular. i wished that the paramount theatre was not such a strict seated venue, because it had a lulling, even soporific effect on some of us. and indeed, his music is at times lullabying, but much of last nights show was a new sufjan stevens with autotune and techno and fantastically futuristic costumes. cat, linda’s friend and one of sufjan’s backup singers, said that he writes almost every part that is played by the two drummers, three guitarists, two horn players, two backup singers, two pianists, and bassist. he is musical genius.
his banter was the self endearing hipster musician persona that, when coupled with his amazing talent, is absolutely endearing.
LISTEN/WATCH/SING: turning ‘bad girls’ into a slow three part harmony jam with the tin can bangers’. how i missed singing in harmony with ladies! this video is maybe one of the greatest from the 1970’s:
LISTEN/WATCH: after our first totally successful ‘tin can bangers’ rehearsal i had a sleep over with linda and we watched ‘the runaways’. i admit that i didn’t really know of the ‘runaways’ before the film. i knew of joan jett, of course, i’ve sung ‘i love rock and roll’ with every cover band i’ve ever been in. but the story of the runaways was a delightful surprise and totally fascinating. dakota fanning and kristen stewart give mature and layered performances as cherrie currrie and joan jett; perhaps because they actually had the original cherrie and joan on set with them during the shooting.
cherrie was only 17 when she shot this video, already an addict and a sexual force onstage:
the ‘rally to restore sanity’ in dc this weekend! i haven’t been to dc since my 8th grade trip and a few hours on our road trip out ot california. now i’ll be going with thousands of other like minded, sane, jon stewart fans!
my gig on november 6th where i will perform songs from my album ‘lady ghosts’…all my dark, beautiful, dramatic stories of women. there will be costume changes.
jon stewart shares the strict daily structure that gaurentees us a hilariously poignant show each night as well as the one thing he prides himself on as an artist:
“i never in my career have ever thought about what the goal was. The goal was always to be better than I was at the present time, at what I was doing.”
WATCH:
the social network.
at least you leave thinking friendship and love do absolutely trump success on the respectability and desireability front. and the acting was riveting. especially the performance by jesse eisenberg- a micheal cera doppelganger; ghostly in his absence of soul, of warmth. eisenberg’s expressions are mechanical and sad. a serious lack of that pure sweetness that always wins us over with cera.
LISTEN:
can’t get over ‘bonfires’. it reminds me of that scene in ‘love actually’ where emma thompson discovers that the necklace she found in the pocket of her husbands coat was not her christmas gift after all. i could only find it online in spanish, but it will still make you cry:
‘bonfires’ by rickie lee jones on ‘balm in gilead’:
this song has stolen my heart and i am locked into it’s bittersweetness. other rickie songs that have stolen my heart:
‘company’
‘last chance texaco’
‘the horses’
she is a seamstress of song; i aspire to sew upon her lines to build gowns of melody and snaps of phrases that click together as hers do.
‘the moon is made of gold’ is another sexy swaying, slightly dark jazzy lazy tongued masterpiece from ‘balm of gilead.’ oh and ‘wild girl’ ah. ah.
WALK:
i went walking around the town today
saw through a window to where children play
with toys strewn across a warm living room
and pictures of mom and dad as happy bride and groom.
mom in the kitchen packing lunches for school
on the fridge a homemade list of chores and of rules
and father serving up the morning’s eggs
children run in with their knobby little legs.
a unit of four, in a simple sweet life
i think to myself i’d like to be a wife.
just a little diddy that popped into my head while i was walking about. i also saw this funny little house that looked straight out of santa fe, not san francisco:
i also stopped into a church, i passed along the way. i didn’t get down on my knees or begin to pray,
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but i did notice that all of the statues stood with heads bowed and a look of sad compassion. for some reason this church didn’t move me as churches often do…i think it was the lack of high ceilings and stained glass. seriously.
finally, i stopped into my favorite vintage store and oggled at the fancy halloween costumes.
PLAY: i met again with violinist emily palen and we rehearsed ‘lonely little doll’.
we are both very excited about our collaboration, however we are still trying to decide how we can best compliment one another as the voice and violin are both solo instruments.
SING: molly and linda, two harmonizing honeys, came over on wednesday night for an evening of singing. we are putting together a few tunes to perform in three part harmony under our new name ‘the tin can bangers’. the group is mostly for our own pleasure at this point, but we may busk or perform at the farmer’s market once we’ve got some tunes under our belt. great great fun!
ON A FIELDTRIP: i spent yesterday afternoon at the deyoung museum’s ‘impressionism exhibit’. i find i like to go and browse alone and let my mind wander, inspired by the art. i bought the audio tour, but found the historical and monotone accompaniment was not what moved me. here’s what did:
please disregard the woman standing in front of this picture…the guard asked me not to take pictures right after i snapped this. this painting is by maurice denis and is called ‘homage to cezanne’. the interesting thing about this painting is that all the men are riveted by one another and by cezanne’s masterpiece in the foreground. in the corner is the one woman in the picture. she stares directly at you without the awe and admiration of the men. on further investigation i learned that the woman is maurice’s wife and maurice himself is one of them males in the painting. but to paint himself and all his nabi artist friends enraptured with another and then to paint his wife so detached from them and engaged with the audience…it’s an interesting choice, no?
one of the first pictures to greet you when you walk in the exhibit is renoir’s ‘young girls at piano.’ when i was twelve i had a postcard of this picture that i shared with my best friend, katie. we liked to find images or stories to serve as icons of our friendship (ex. i’m belle and you are ariel). the postcard of this image was one of our icons, although i can’t now remember who was who.
it is serendipitous that i saw this painting as i have been thinking a lot about one of the albums i will record with bob as a homage to the intimate relationship that exists only between two girlfriends from a very young age. i suppose this story has always been inside of me and it just keeps working its way out through new songs.
after the ‘impressionism exhibit’ i went to the ‘contemporary art’ section of the museum. and i found again the picture that had inspired my song ‘swimming in sin’!!! of course, i have to admit that my mind had added meaning, and expression, and characters to the picture and it was almost a bit disappointing to see without the added layers of my imagination. still, i’m glad i have it.
here are some other highlights from the field trip:
view from the observation deck…i love you sf.
this barren tree sculpture created a striking shadow.
I don’t know if you can tell, but these pieces of fruit are huge and they look like candy.
i also went to the conservatory of flowers. can’t say it was the most exciting thing sf has to offer, but i did appreciate the lily pads (the size of a large platter) and this incredibly suggestive nut…mother nature you are naughty!
james franco is a constant student of all things art (he has studied at yale, columbia, nyu, ucla, and more), a versatile actor (he has played harvey milk’s beau and a comedic drug dealer), and a risk taking performer (he decided he wanted to try soap opera acting and ‘general hospital’ was happy to have him).
here he is in general hospital playing a role that he advised (he said ‘i want to be insane and an artist). you can tell he is soap acting (ie having an average of 1 take per scene):
WALK: it’s been hot and sunny in sf. here’s another bit of mother nature’s art.
LISTEN: anita o’day. she has been one of my favorite jazz singers since i was a little girl. her sound is so lazy and cool even when she is ripping it apart as she does in ‘tea for two’ or ‘what is this thing called love’. here is a snipet of her in tokyo in 1963:
i am surprised at how present she is in these lyrics, how much she ‘acts them’. of course i don’t mean act like barbara streisand acts lyrics; she is much more subtle than that. but each line has a specific and truthful gesture or expression (a little ‘oh well’ smile or ‘isn’t that the way it is’ nod of the head) that keeps the audience engaged. she seems so prim and pulled together, you would never guess the addiction with which she struggled throughout her life.
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LISTEN: nellie mckay. she is entirely uncategorizable. the one consistency is a truthful, free creative expression. her openess to try anything has made her a talent in many, and a genius in a few of her many mediums. the woman painted her cd jacket for heavens sake. you just want to go to her house on a sunday afternoon, you know something wonderful would be a foot. my favorites on ‘home sweet mobile home’:
bruise on the sky -it’s like an early nineties girl band…like a song i knew as genius when i was 12 not an addict by k’s choice.
and on ‘pretty little heads’: beecharmer- a duet with nellie and cyndi lauper my friends. cyndi was always kind of badass, wasn’t she? there in me- still. i love this song.
ALSO, listened to john legend, ‘when it’s cold outside.’ it is the soundtrack to home and love, how you want to feel with a partner.
Found a few english papers for writing an essay, writing about reading.
WALK: explored usf on sunday morning. it has a closer to heaven feel that campus.
with mary’s portrait all around
and flower petals on the ground.
i treasure of a place i found
WRITE: the light hearted poem is a recent favorite of mine.
these are two i sent out to the workout groups i led:
10.3.10 four more and out the door
we’ll travel precisely at seven
we’ll run and we’ll sweat
and for certain, you can bet,
you’ll be home in bed by eleven.
so by 4 o’clock
i will take stock
and write you all to say
oh yes yes indeed
you know it’s what you need,
let’s have a workout adventure today!
and of course, then at eight,
for it’s always a date,
we’ll convene over here for dinner.
i’ll have mashed cauliflower
you’ll bring a portabello tower
and feel brighter and happier and thinner.*
*note*- i do not promote the unhealthy loss of body fat; i do promote easy rhyme.*
10.3.10- confirmation well i must confide,
i’ve had to decide
whether to host workout or no
and i’ve thought it all through
what to do, what to do…
and there’s really just one way to go.
yes i’m in the zone,
to not be alone
but rather to say oh, come on
they’ll be movement and song
oh please come along
to tonight’s cocktail salon.
10.10.10
shall we meet tomorrow, then?
in a group of 4, or 6, or 10
we’ll stir into the alchemy of night
in sneakers and sweatshirts and spandex tights.
we’ll move against the city’s skin
of stone and stairs and how we’ll spin.
and lift and press and push, push!
come on and tighten that tush, tush!
so come now ladies, mustn’t we meet
on the corner of golden and baker street
apartment 5, 1885,
i promise
i promise
you’ll feel alive.
PLAY: played through some of the tunes i wrote in brooklyn. they were very simple chordally and i try not to condescend towards them for that. because really the melodies are pure pleasing, the lyrics are clever enough, and lord knows the content is earnest as hell. and they were brilliantly produced, (thanks marc osborn). but more than the simplicity of the chords, most of the lyrics from the song don’t still seduce my imagination. but what i am continually moved by are my story songs and the images that fell into my head with the words…songs not directly autobiographical. because i suppose my life is rather normal and comfy romantically (and i suppose i rather like it that way). anyway, i played through:
‘cup o crazy’
‘better than anything’
‘eva and i’ (which i revamped and rewrote)
‘young hippolyta’ (same)
ON THE RADIO:
eminem talking to a tall thin white man with glasses and a tie from my npr music app: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127953120
he was talking about his album recovery and (of course) his recovery from his addiction to meth, ambien, valium, and a whole load of other pills. his answers were surprisingly humble and calmly thoughtful.
so i went to his site and saw this video:
i admit he offends me and i don’t like the anger and violence this type of hip-hop encourages in young men. but he never said he was writing for children (or he shouldn’t be) and he has the right to speak of his experience. and
my god his sense of rhythm and rhyme! he is specific in every image, as vulgar and violent as they may be.
lil’ wayne is good. but you see here, that eminem is genius. his energy and speed is explosive. if you don’t want to watch the whole video, fast forward it to eminems and then read the lyrics a second time while you listen. in fact, he may be a ‘modern day shakespeare’ although i don’t know if he speaks of so many human truths.
Young money
Throw dirt on me, and grow a wild flower,
But it’s fuck the world, get a child out her,
yeah my life a bitch, but u know nothing bout her,
Been to hell and back, I can show you vouchers,
I’m rollin’ sweets, I’m smoking sour,
Married to the game, but she broke her vows,
Thats why my bars, are full of broken bottles,
And my night stands are full of open bibles,
Ugh I think about more then I forget,
But I dont go around fire expectin’ not to sweat,
And these niggas know I lay em down make your bed,
Bitches try to kick me, while im down I break your leg,
Money out weighin’ problems on the triple-beam,
I’m sticking to the script, you niggas skipping scenes,
Ugh be good or be good at it, fucking right I got my gun semi carter-matic.
Yeah put they dick in they mouth, so I guess its fuck with they say,
I’m high as a bitch, up up and away, man I come down in a couple of days,
Okay you want me up in the cage, then I’ll come out in beast mode,
I got this world stuck in a safe, cominbation is the G code,
Its weezy motha fucka blood gang and im in bleed mode, all about my do’ but I dont even check the peep hole,
so you can keep knocking, but wont knock me down, no love lost, no love found.
Its a little to late to say that your sorry now, you kicked me when I was down, but what you say just dont hurt me (Thats right, and I dont need you, dont wanan see you, bitch you get
no love)
You showed me nothing but hate, you ran me into the ground but what comes around goes around, and you don’t hurt me (that’s right, and I don’t need you, don’t wanna see you, bitch you get no love)
Bitch you get no love.
No love x 7
I’m live again, more alive then I’ve been in my whole entire life,
I can see these people ears perk up as I begin, a spaz with a pin
I’m a little bit sicker then
most,
Shits gonna get thick again, they say the competition is stiff but I get a hard dick from this shit now stick it in,
I aint ever given in again, caution to the win complete freedom look at these rappers how I treat them so why the fuck would I join them, when I beat them,
They call me a freak cuz I like to spit on these pussy’s before I eat them, man get these whack cock suckers stage where the fuck is Kanye when you need him,
Snatch the mic from them bitch ima let you finish in a minute yeah the rap was tight but ummm, Ruckus got the greatest verse of all time so you might wanna go back to the lab tonight,
And um scribble out them rhymes you was gonna spit an start over from scratch and write new ones, but im afraid it aint gonna make no difference when i rip the shades and tear it in half tonight,
Its an adrenaline rush you feel the bass thump all the way to the parking lot fellow, set fire to the mic and ignite the crowd you can see the sparks from hot metal,
Cold hearted from the day I bogaurded the game I soul started, a rock fellow and I’m not even in my harshest you can see can get roasted, cuz marshal not mellow,
So on top, fill it from the top, I’m not gonna stop em, standing on my monopoly board, that’s means I’m on top of my game, and it don’t stop, till my hip don’t hop anymore,
When you so good, that you cant say it cuz it aint even cool for you to sound cocky anymore,
People just get sick cuz you spit these fools drool & dribble a drop anymore, and you cant ever break my stride, you never slowed the momentum and at any minute im about to blow you never take my pride,
im killing the flow slow and venom, pwn niggers, no mercy mark my words, and let enough relentless I smell blood, I don’t give a fuck keep given them hell, where was you when I fell and needed help up, you get no love,
Its a little to late to say that your sorry now, you kicked me when I was down, but what you say just don’t hurt me (That’s right, and I don’t need you, don’t wanna see you, bitch you get no love)
You showed me nothing but hate, you ran me into the ground but what comes around goes around, and you don’t hurt me (That’s right, and I don’t need you, don’t wanna see you, bitch you get no love)
Bitch you get no love.
No love x 7
AT A SHOW: ‘much ado about nothing’. there was a bit too much giggling and cavorting about the stage (although i do understand how much of that is written into the play). that said, it was an enjoyable evening. the orinda shakespeare theatre is beautiful; it’s outdoors and surrounded by barren hills. at night you see the stars (a novelty here in the bay area) and the stage is lit magically against the backdrop of night. there was also an interesting lecture by the resident dramaturg before the play; turns out that much ado’ was in many ways a precursor to the great tragedy ‘othello’ written seven years later. ‘othello’, though shorter, is a more complex version of ‘much ado’. both villians share a jealousy that is the the destructive force in the play. claudio and othello are both war heros, unfamiliar with the affairs of the heart, who fall prey to the jealousy ignited in them by the antagonists.
SHARE: okay. my partner will not approve, but i must post some pictures of my cats, because my god. they are furry bundles of adorableness, are they not?!
